What's it like under that spotlight?

You may be thinking to yourself, why is she asking that question? I ask the question because I really wonder what it's like. I get attention for various things now and then but I've never really "been in the spotlight". I'm not one of those designers people refer to when they reference high quality or detail in SL fashion. I've never been in the media but for one small article in Women's Wear Daily that was shared with Aimee Weber. I've been working on designs for over two years and yes I have an established business but I am not a household name. What's it like under that bright light? Is it rewarding to see so many speak of you and your work?

I work hard when I create something, I am always determined to get that realistic look without flat out photosourcing. I sit for hours sometimes trying to make sure I get seams or straps lined correctly and even then sometimes I can only do the best I know how. I have a limited knowledge of Photoshop, most of which I've taught myself and I don't have many filters. I don't create new clothing every week, especially these days because I'm doing contract work, so I'm off on my work alt. Newer people are passing me by every day and had done so long ago. The things said in the notorious documents by that "anonymous" person of which I won't speak may have been extreme but some of it stings true in my mind. I may very well be expired milk, long past my prime that I really never reached.

I don't want to seem like I'm complaining because I really am grateful that there are folks that like my stuff and come back. It's just now I am really starting to see that my peak in the fashion world was a plateau and it's something I have to face and accept. I am glad I've chosen to do other things like Secondcast or I might be completely lost. Sometimes it's difficult not to become petty or jealous, especially when you see fashion blogs pouring over some of the same names constantly as though heaven has shined down on them.

Those of you who feel bad when the green monster hits you, you're not alone, after all we're human. It's a matter of realizing why you're feeling a little green around the edges. Is it really because the person is getting attention and you're not? Is it that you feel they don't deserve it? Is it something like that or is that you know deep inside if you worked harder maybe you'd be in that spotlight too. With me, it's more envy of time, envy of being able to sit down every day and create enough to keep up with the masses and the falling Lindex. Do I feel like sometimes my hard work goes without notice? Sure I do, but I know I'm not alone in that and I know I'll get through it.

It's easy to start beating up on yourself, telling yourself that what you create is worthless and that's why you never get anywhere. Let me be the first to say that doing that will only cause greater harm in the end. You don't get your feet wet by sitting on the beach and watching the waves. If you're trying your hardest and giving it every ounce of effort you have then you've got more to be proud of than you realize. Those of you that are new and feeling overwhelmed, just look at me. I've been here for three years and I feel that way, there are many times I think of throwing in the towel..but I don't. I can't promise you'll be praised by thousands or even that you'll have a steady sales report every day, but damn if it isn't satisfying to see someone wearing your designs and liking it.

Listen to me, the motivational speaker lol. A lot of this is easier said than done and don't I know it. Sometimes it's down right depressing to think about my place in the fashion world of SL, an oldbie middle child, "It's always Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!". It's not going to stop me of course but it makes me want to eat chocolate! Those of you out there that have been brewing hostility towards me lately, trust me, you've got no reason to be jealous. Spend some of that time creating or reading a book, maybe go for a walk. I think I'll take a walk too, when it stops raining..


*P.S Thanks to everyone who takes a moment or two to read my blog, it means a lot :). I don't always get around to replying to comments but I read every one of them.